Review: HOLD ME TIGHT: SEVEN CONVERSATIONS FOR A LIFETIME OF LOVE by Dr. Sue Johnson

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Dr. Sue Johnson

In my opinion, reading's true rewards come when you see yourself reflected in the pages of a book: when that book enables you to unravel the many layers of your own psyche. Hold Me Tight is just that sort of book. It is based on Dr. Sue Johnson's APA-endorsed Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, or EFT.

EFT is based on the premise that romantic relationships are sought to fulfill the human need for attachment. Johnson likens this attachment to that of a parent and child. Essentially, our need for security never dies, and as we transition from adolescence to adulthood, we project that need onto our partners and spouses rather than our parents.

Johnson does an excellent job illustrating the basic need for attachment using case studies. The examples feature dialogues between couples as they are being treated, and it's hard not to relate to one of the participants in each scenario. Even the personality types who tend to retreat when faced with marital conflict are actually acting out their need to preserve this idea of security.

The world of psychology and couples' therapy is constantly evolving and there are as many different schools of thought as there are self-help books. Johnson's methods seem to be the most realistic. She breaks conflict down to the self-defeating patterns into which couples fall while guiding them into more productive ways of relating.

The problem with Hold Me Tight is EFT requires the participation of both partners. Most often, only one partner is actively seeking a solution and it can be difficult to persuade a significant other to read the book and participate in the exercises, just as it would be to convince that person to attend couples' therapy. Johnson does not offer any solutions for dealing with unresponsive partners.

However, just to be able to shed some light on our own subconscious motivations and how they affect our relationships is worth the time it takes to read the book. There are lots of prompts for reflection, and perhaps a relationship can be improved when at least one partner can delve into a deeper level of understanding. Hold Me Tight has the potential to serve as a tool to achieving this realization.

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Review: RALPHINA, THE ROLY-POLY by Claudia Chandler

As a fan of Janet Halfmann, I have great appreciation for children's books that tell a story and teach science at the same time. Children love learning about the world around them, and books that highlight the creatures they encounter every day help them build an understanding of the world.

With this in mind, I was very excited when Claudia Chandler's Ralphina, the Roly-Poly arrived. I could tell right away from the cover illustration this was going to be a treasure of a book. I knew my boys would be just as excited to learn about the strange little bugs they had become so accustomed to uncovering in their outdoor exploration.

Ralphina is both written and illustrated by Chandler. The story begins with Ralphina devising a plan to get the attention of the little boy who lives in the home on her lot. She's looking for a playmate, but her mother explains that she's probably just too small for the boy to notice. Her idea is to make the tulips in the yard bloom so beautifully that the boy will have to come outside and pick one of the flowers for his mother. Through Ralphina's efforts, we learn how roly-polies aid the growth and development of plant life. We also learn about their protective instincts, anatomy, habitat, and genus. The positive storyline about friendship and problem-solving is followed by two pages of facts about the little insects.

Putting the educational value aside, my favorite part of the book is definitely the gorgeous illustrations. The colors are vivid and the pictures pop from the page. These are the types of drawings that one could imagine gracing nursery walls or children's museums. The font is a little flowery, however, which might make it difficult for early readers to decipher. As long as an adult is doing the reading, this doesn't pose an obstacle.

Ralphina, the Roly-Poly is a book that will remain on bookshelves for years, as children will still find the scientific value after they've outgrown the storyline. Claudia Chandler has created a well-rounded book parents and children alike will enjoy.

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Review: SHADOW YOGA, CHAYA YOGA by Shandor Remete

Shadow Yoga, Chaya Yoga is an introduction to Hatha Yoga. Unfortunately, to claim this book as an introduction to any yoga principle is misleading. Remete describes the facets considered imperative to becoming enlightened through Hatha Yoga, but he does it in such a convoluted jargon-laden way, the reader becomes lost and confused trying to piece each principle together.

I feel terrible that I haven't even been able to finish this book. I've tried several times, but each time I start reading I become so overloaded with terms that my mind becomes distracted and I lose interest. The parts that I was able to understand easily were based on my prior knowledge of yoga gleaned from other readings and a Religions course. He speaks of various positions and methods, but never elaborates or provides tutorials on performing them. The author focuses on theory, but not implementation.

What I was able to absorb is that Hatha Yoga is made up of many layers of accomplishment, and none can be achieved until its precursor is mastered. Remete tries to emphasize the need to take the practice in segments and master each segment before moving on.

Shadow Yoga is Remete's own personal derivation of Hatha Yoga, to which his father introduced him at age six. I played around a bit on his website, ShadowYoga.com, and following the videos allows the practitioner to put some of Remete's instruction into practice. However, piecing everything together in the order and depth the author encourages is still quite elusive based solely on the text. From what I can tell, the objective is to provide enough information that the reader signs up for some courses, but can never fully grasp the practice on their own.

I'll keep trying to unlock the potential this book has. I'm sure there is some beneficial information contained within its pages that will guide me in mastering Yoga techniques. However, for a novice or beginner, there are better books available.

This book review is part of the Eco-Libris 2010 Green Books Campaign. View other reviews of eco-friendly books at Eco-Libris.net.

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Review: LITTLE BLACK ANT ON PARK STREET by Janet Halfmann

By Janet Halfmann
Illustrated by Kathleen Rietz

I love the colorful and educational installments in the Smithsonian's Backyard series of books. And so do my boys. Ever since reading Hermit Crab's Home, Janet Halfmann has been a favorite author in our family. We seek out her books based on her name and not the content. But naturally, a child's curiosity about the world around them will encourage them to explore the wildlife that exists right in their own backyard. (And bring specimens of that wildlife indoors behind Mom's back.) Little Black Ant on Park Street explores several days in the life of an ant, experienced through the perspective of one special little ant.

The book opens during the Summer, when the backyard anthill is filled with activity. Little Black Ant has spent weeks working in the darkness of the anthill, but today she gets to explore the sunlit lawn outside while searching for food. It takes no time at all for the ant to find a feast for her colony, and the reader is allowed a glimpse at the teamwork and careful strategy that go into delivering the food back to the anthill and disseminating the meal to her fellow ants.

Day after day Little Black Ant ventures out into the great outdoors in search of food while the reader learns the biological processes of ant survival. There is even a hint of danger when Little Black Ant finds herself in the clutches of blue jay. Which defenses will she use to escape?

While this book is probably best enjoyed by toddlers and younger children, the educational benefits can span all ages. Even I learned a thing or two while sharing this book with my boys. And it's making me almost not want to kill the ant that's crawling across my laptop as I type this. Almost.

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Review: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE by Hilary Smith

By Hilary Smith

Thank goodness for authors like Hilary Smith. Her tongue-in-cheek guide to bipolar disorder could be one of the most useful tools available to those who encounter this stigmatized affliction. This is most likely due to the fact that Smith exists outside the medical community--she's a patient--and she's living with bipolar disorder herself. She's been there, she's done her research, and her narrative exudes sincerity.

Maybe it's just Smith's personality, but the book reads like she might have been on a manic episode when she wrote it. It's incredibly upbeat, flows without a hitch, and pokes fun at the circumstances surrounding a bipolar diagnosis without reserve. And that's the raw appeal of the book: that Smith is not going to eschew any important details. She's going to tell it exactly as she sees it as she relates her experiences.

Despite the casual and humorous nature of Welcome to the Jungle, it is organized without flaw, taking form in a comprehensive study of diagnosis, treatment, and ongoing care. Smith's candor makes the disorder seem bearable--fun, even--and can ground the reader in a way only a good friend can. It offers a degree of reassurance that's difficult to cultivate in the antiseptic realm of psychiatry and medical service. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, even hospitalization seem like trivial challenges in the light of Smith's perspective. She has a talent for making every experience into an exhilarating and meaningful adventure.

That being said, Smith still manages to highlight the serious and life-altering effects of bipolar disorder. She masters such taboo topics as suicide just as easily as she provides a thorough illumination of the insurance industry and the inevitable roadblocks that come with trying to obtain health insurance post diagnosis. The reader will come away with a great deal of knowledge while, at the same time, being entertained. Welcome to the Jungle is a complete package.

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Review: LET GO NOW by Karen Casey

By Karen Casey

Karen Casey has written twenty-three books, but I have to admit that I had never heard of her until a review book popped up unexpectedly in my mailbox. Let Go Now: Embracing Detachment is Casey's latest work, and it arrived at just the right time. I'm already on my second "refresher" reading just to keep in line.

Let Go Now focuses on how many of us form unhealthy attachments to those around us. We crave the attention and approval of loved ones so much that we go to great lengths to control their behavior to suit our own needs. Even a complete stranger who signals a notion of disapproval can shatter a weakened ego. It may sound extreme, narcissistic, and overbearing, but it is a sad reality for lots of us. It was a destructive reality for Casey which influenced her foray into drug and alcohol abuse.

Though she admits to being a work in progress, Casey has managed to overcome many of these destructive tendencies and shares her wisdom in 200 one-page essays elaborating on the basic principles of detaching from those around us. By detachment, Casey certainly does not mean withdrawing from our daily lives and interactions with those around us. She guides the reader into a practiced form of disengagement when conflict arises. It's an in-depth application of the concept "turn the other cheek."It's brilliant advice.

Casey calls her essays "meditations" and every ten are followed up with a reflection exercise to help the reader absorb the messages and put them into practice. Casey molded many of her principles around her rehab experiences, so they are very much God-centered and rely on faith in a higher power for reinforcement. However, Casey clearly notes that everyone's definition of God is different and for the reader to use their own interpretation of spirit. While atheists might find a little more difficulty in relating the wisdom to their own unique situations, it is still solid advice that is worth incorporating into daily life.

The main concept I took from the book is that everyone is in our lives for a reason, whether that be to teach us something, for them to play the part of the student, or to journey alongside us as a companion. Those people may disappear from our lives when their lesson has been completed. It lifts the spirit when one can stop and show silent appreciation for those who have challenged our resolve or hurt us in one way or another and Casey guides the way. She lets us know that the greatest gift we can give a loved one is their autonomy--to stop worrying about their lives and let them grow in the way their lives have been laid out for them.

Let Go Now is a book I would feel comfortable suggesting to just about anyone. Very few of us are able to focus solely on our own growth and let those around us take separate paths. For those of us who find ourselves investing in other people to the point of insanity, Casey helps lay out the boundaries that allow us to reclaim our lives and gradually end our codependency.

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Review: AWAKENING CONSCIOUSNESS: A BOY'S GUIDE by Robin Marvel

Awakening Consciousness: A Boy's Guide
By Robin Marvel
ISBN-10: 1932690913
ISBN-13: 978-1932690910
Paperback, 114 pages
June 10, 2009
Marvelous Spirit Press
Reviewed by Sabrina Williams


Finding ways to guide children spiritually without imposing religious tenets upon them can be a struggle at times. For those of us who follow a more broadened spiritual path, there seems to be little in the way of instructional material. This makes the release of Robin Marvel's Awakening Consciousness: A Boy's Guide, all the more exciting!

Marvel's guidebook is written with the child in mind, delivering spiritual information in a way that is relevant to a young boy. Colorful stories, mostly Native American lore, complement each lesson. Children become immersed in each chapter with activities that explore each concept. Marvel includes space for drawing and reflection, as well as instructions for fun crafts. Topics covered include chakras, meditation, spirit guides, and dreams, among many others.

This workbook is a hit with both of my boys. It holds their attention well with the activities within each chapter. The part that pleases me the most was the focus on building a child's self-esteem and well-being, things that tend to come naturally with spiritual training. The text is clear and easy to read, the stories are relevant to a child's world, and the message is positive. The parent may wish to explore some topics further as the child expresses interest, being that the chapters really only touch briefly on each concept. Awakening Consciousness will likely serve as a springboard to exploring spirituality.

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Review: Jewelry by LuShae

Valentine's Day is coming up ladies, so why not direct him to Jewelry by LuShae for some ideas? Of course, I was naturally drawn to the shiny objects, but LuShae has some really gorgeous designs, and they're quite affordable. You can choose from a nice selection of necklaces, rings, and earrings.

While I had a great time perusing the site, and learned some very interesting information about the history of jewelry while I was browsing, I knew which piece I was choosing the instant I came across it. I had to try out this amazingly awesome skull and crossbones ring. This little beauty is made of Rhodium-bonded white gold with three round cubic zirconia for teeth. The skull is hollow, so you can see right through those eyes. Isn't he gorgeous? I placed my order, it shipped the same day, and arrived in just a few short days. I was impressed with the shipping time.

When my little beauty arrived, he was packaged in an attractive velvet-lined gift box and was everything I expected. Jewelry by LuShae touts the amazing Rhodium finish as the secret to their quality jewelry, so of course I had to test this out. Let it be known that I can be rough on jewelry. I've broken many a ring or necklace within a few days. The Rhodium finish is supposed to give it an added luster and protect the metal from scratches and tarnish. I put the ring on the same day, and have worn it for two weeks now, through hand-washings, lotions, cooking, cleaning, and showers. The ring still has a beautiful shine and shows absolutely no sign of wear. It still looks as if I had just pulled it out of the box. It definitely passed the Breeni stress test.

All of the jewelry on the site is easy on the wallet. This particular ring retails for $122, but LuShae has it on sale for $62.00. I feel confident buying from LuShae with their 100% satisfaction guarantee. They really do stand behind their products. Fellow bloggers should check out the $5000 sweepstakes. Final word: great service, great quality, great products.

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Review: VICIOUS CIRCLE by Linda Robertson

Vicious Circle
By Linda Robertson
ISBN-10: 1439154287
ISBN-13: 978-1439154281
Paperback, 384 pages
June 30, 2009
Juno Books
Reviewed by Sabrina Williams

"Being a witch doesn't pay the bills..." Don't I know it. And it's as a Wiccan that I most enjoyed Linda Robertson's debut novel Vicious Circle. Robertson makes it easy to relate to her heroine Persephone Alcmedi, a traditional witch with a soft spot for waerewolves. While she's offering a safe place for waerewolves to kennel during the full moon, she's also taking on the responsibility of housing her feisty grandmother who has recently gotten ejected from a nursing home.

Tragically, a friend who used to kennel at Persephone's home is murdered. This leaves Lorrie's orphaned daughter, Beverley, of great concern to Seph, considering Lorrie was a single parent and her daughter is now in the care of Vivian Diamond, an esteemed but apathetic high priestess with the child rearing skills of Miss Hannigan. Of even more concern is the fact that Vivian apparently knows who killed Lorrie, and she insists on hiring Seph to avenge the waerewolf's death. In Robertson's world, waerewolves are treated as a sort of subspecies, and such a murder would brushed under the rug by authorities. Vivian knows that Persephone has broken the Witches' Rede for Lorrie in the past, and she wouldn't hesitate to use that information against her.

An even larger problem looms, however. The accused murderer, Goliath Kline, also happens to be a vampire with a nasty reputation. He does not take kindly to Persephone's investigation into his affairs and, as a result, another waere friend nearly loses her life. Persephone is desperately trying to save her friend while keeping herself alive in the midst of a vampire's ire.

Yes, it does has a bit of a Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood feel to it, but what doesn't these days? It would be easy to envision Goliath as Eric Northman or Vivian as Maryann Forrester, amongst plenty of other parallels. However, I was most intrigued by Persephone's internal conflict over how loosely she interprets the Witches' Rede. And her bad boy musician love interest is a far cry from Bill Compton. In fact, Johnny presents yet another conflict for Seph in that she's hesitant to let herself fall in love with someone so far removed from her idea of a respectable boyfriend. All told, Robertson combines an interesting mix of ritual and lore, contemporary affairs and mystery.

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Guest Review: BABY SHARK'S JUGGLERS AT THE BORDER by Robert Fate

Baby Shark's Jugglers at the Border

by Robert Fate

ISBN-10: 0979996058

ISBN-13: 978-0979996054

Paperback, 280 pages

Capital Crime Press

September 1, 2009

Reviewed by Cynthia Murphy

After a few entries in a series, authors often run the risk of getting a bit lazy. Character development becomes sparse, or the prose becomes clichéd. Robert Fate skillfully sidesteps such a problem in the latest entry in the Baby Shark series, Jugglers at the Border. This is the fourth installment in the series starring former pool shark turned detective Kristin Van Dijk, and it is just as strong as the previous novels.

Jugglers at the Border is a fun, fast-paced read. It starts with Kristen being tied up in a remote cabin. When a mysterious gunman kills her captors, she seizes the opportunity for an escape. She ends up killing the gunman when she becomes a target for him. With all of the excitement in the first few chapters, the reader is likely to believe that this case will be focus of the story. However, this is just an introduction.

The main case in Jugglers at the Border involves the murder of the estranged wife of Kristin’s partner, Otis. There is an interesting back story about Otis’s ex, Dixie. She was a stripper known as “The Dallas Firecracker.” Their marriage was a stormy one, and it cost Otis his career with the police department. Although they had been separated for years, Otis still cared about Dixie, and he agrees to work with the police on the case.

The case is a complex mix of twists and turns. Dixie’s murder is immediately linked to a recent bank robbery in which a police officer was killed. Kristin and Otis have to figure out exactly how she was involved in the plot. The investigation pairs Kristin and Otis with a by-the-book cop named Carl Lynch. At first, their investigative styles clash, but they develop a mutual respect over time. The investigation reveals a dark side to Dixie’s life and another mystery. The team discovers a safety deposit box key taped underneath her coffee table, but they can’t figure out where the box is stored. This represents a key element of the bigger mystery of Dixie’s role in the bank robberies. All of the mysteries converge in an exciting climax that ties everything together.

Robert Fate does a great job with the pacing of this novel. The suspense remains steady throughout the book. There are no slow sections; everything keeps moving toward the climax. Fate creates suspense in a number of ways. He focuses much of his energy on the plot; it is jam-packed with action. The reader doesn’t really have time to recover from one event before something else happens. It makes for a fast, exciting read experience.
Fate uses his characteristic retro style language. Everything about this novel looks and sounds like a hard-boiled detective novel of the mid-twentieth century. Only the modern copyright date reminds the reader that this book was written in 2009. The dialogue is snappy, and Fate uses a staccato rhythm throughout the book. The overall effect is surprisingly smooth.

Fate also does a bit more character development than usual in Jugglers at the Border. This time, he reveals more of Otis’s past and shows some of his emotions. For the most part, Otis has seemed like a tough former cop. In this book, his feelings regarding Dixie reveal a gentle side that hasn’t been evident in previous novels. Fate also reveals some confusion for Kristin in her relationship with her boyfriend, Lee. Their relationship has developed into something more serious than they had expected. Consequently, Kristin doesn’t know what she wants to do with the relationship and her life.

My biggest complaint about this novel is its title. I just don’t think the title suits the novel very well. It looks like Fate is trying too hard to be clever with the title. It’s too long, and doesn’t fit the action as well as some of the other entries in the series.

Overall, Jugglers at the Border is a fun thriller. The pacing is good, and the characters are likeable. Most importantly, it has a terrific plot that keeps the reader guessing. It feels like an old detective novel, but hopefully there will be more entries in the Baby Shark series.

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